Peacemaking

PURITAN PEACEMAKING

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The Best of Jeremiah Burroughs on Matthew 5:9


Upon retirement I gave away a number of books from my personal library. Among the ones I kept and that lately has captured a part of my quiet time reflection comes from the pen of Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs (1599-1646). The Saints’ Happiness: Forty-One Sermons on the Beatitudes, includes no less than four messages on Matthew 5:9.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

In this post, I have captured a sample of Burrough’s best on this subject so crucial to a legitimate claim to the identity child of God. Read and pursue your happiness, saint!

It is interesting to note the placement of this Beatitude—it is the seventh in order. In Proverbs 6, we find a list of seven things that the Lord hates, and the seventh item mentioned is “one who sows discord among brethren.” In contrast to God’s hatred, the seventh blessing pronounced is upon the peace-makers.

Those who keep themselves pure, with clean hearts and consciences, are peaceable and capable of making peace with others.

A contrary disposition—one that is stubborn and perverse—is cursed. But a peaceable, gentle, and quiet disposition is blessed. Moreover, it is even more blessed to be an instrument in bringing about peace in the places where we live and among those with whom we interact. In the present times, there is a great need for peace-makers.

Blessed are those who, having experienced the blessedness of peace themselves and having obtained peace with God, earnestly desire to bring others into reconciliation with Him. Blessed is the person who, in a gracious manner, labors to draw others into peace with God and whom God blesses in these endeavors.

Jesus Christ’s heart is so committed to being a peace-maker between the world and God that He willingly sheds His blood and even becomes a curse. Consider, you children of men, the vast distance that existed between God and you, and how Christ— both God and man—had to intervene to make peace between you and God. He shed His blood and became a curse to accomplish this great work of God. This, my brethren, is the great mystery of godliness. We should spend our days in admiration, standing, wondering, and blessing our Saviour, the great peace-maker.

To meddle with the subject of peace between man and man is one of the most challenging tasks for any minister, especially during such times. It is difficult because people’s hearts are impure, filled with filth and uncleanness, and how does one go about making peace with them? It is difficult because hardly anyone can bring themselves to acknowledge that they are in any way responsible for the lack of peace among others.

A person who wishes to meddle in matters of peace among others must first ensure that their own relationship with God is well. They must possess a peaceable disposition themselves. If someone of a froward or turbulent disposition were to speak of peace and denounce divisions, everyone would be ready to challenge them. They must exhibit much self-denial, not considering themselves or their own party in any way, but aiming purely for God’s glory and the public good. Therefore, it is evidence of much grace in the heart, and thus the person is blessed. They are blessed when they handle matters wisely, prudently, and graciously.

When you are tempted to a fit of passion, know that the devil expects a great deal of sin to follow. Now blessed are the peace-makers, for they are the means to prevent an abundance of sin. That is a most blessed thing. What greater blessing can a person have than to be an instrument in preventing sin? It is a blessed thing to prevent even one sin, but to be an instrument in preventing so much sin must undoubtedly be blessed.

Blessed are the peace-makers, for they are instrumental for God in a work that He greatly delights in. When you read the Scriptures, you will find no duty more emphasized, backed by arguments, motives, and persuasions, and no duty that has stronger exhortations than peace. Read the Epistles to the Philippians, Ephesians, Colossians, Romans, and Corinthians, and you will consistently find that peace is what the Holy Spirit most persuades men to pursue. Even Christ Himself, the great peace-maker, is concerned not only with peace between God and us but also between man and man.

If people do not have wicked and vile hearts, when their corruption is stirred, and they have bitter thoughts and desperate resolutions, if God sends a person of peace to them—someone who approaches them with a calm and peaceable spirit, persuades them with scripture, and quells their boiling emotions, cooling their passionate hearts and dampening their desperate resolutions—then, if they are not desperately wicked, they will see cause to bless God for it. They will say, “Well, blessed be God who sent such a person to prevent me. I now see that I would have done something I would have later regretted.”

Want to read more? You can access an eBook version on Monergism. More to come soon in a series of posts.

GET GOOD NOT EVEN

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Overcoming Love When Peacemaking Seems Impossible


In coaching sessions with folks in conflict with others, I frequently quote Romans 12:18.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

We can’t hope to control what someone else does about our issue with them, but we can take ownership of our personal approach to the situation. Love constrained by the gospel of Jesus as described in the immediate context (Romans 12:9-17), pulls out all the stops to achieve reconciliation. But what if all attempts fail? Even worse, what if our conciliatory efforts result in increased hostility and sinful behavior from the other party?

Even then gospel love kicks things up another notch. The rest of Romans 12 calls for nothing less than a supernaturally aided, two-fold strategy.

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Tactic #1 Never try to get even. Leave things with God who rights every wrong in due time. Instead, employ tactic #2: Treat your enemy just the opposite. Don’t repay evil for evil. Refuse to get even; overcome evil with good.

In Robert Peterson’s biography of Robert Chapman: Apostle of Love, he relates a story from the much-beloved life of the 19th century British pastor. It beautifully illustrates the power of a Romans-12 kind of overcoming love.

A grocer in Barnstaple became so upset when Chapman was preaching in the open air that he strode up to where Chapman was standing and spit on him. Later one of Robert’s wealthy relatives came to Barnstaple to visit him and to try and understand his activities. Arriving by horse-drawn cab at the address given to him, the relative at first would not believe that Chapman lived in such a simple abode in such a poor neighborhood. Chapman ushered him into the clean but simple interior and explained what living in dependence on the Lord meant and how the Lord had provided for all his needs.

The relative asked if he could purchase groceries for him. Chapman gladly assented but stipulated that he must buy the food from a certain grocer. The relative went there, made a large purchase, and paid the bill. When the grocer learned that the food was to be delivered to R. C. Chapman, he said that the visitor must have come to the wrong shop. Chapman’s relative, however, replied that Chapman himself had specifically directed him to that shop. The grocer, who had viciously attacked and castigated Chapman for years, broke down in tears. Soon he came to Chapman’s house, asked forgiveness, and yielded his life to Christ.

Perhaps we can’t truly say we’ve done all we possibly can as peacemakers, until we heap some burning coals of good upon the evil heads that spit on us.

WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE

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A Review of Dr. Tim Cooper’s Book (Crossway, 2024)


Subtitled “Lessons from the Fractured Relationship of John Owen and Richard Baxter,” this helpful peacemaking resource opens with a spoiler alert: “There is no happy ending.” In these 167 pages, readers face a reality check.

Relationships rupture even among the best of believers. With this summary tale from seventeenth century English Christianity, we force down a bitter pill: two of church history’s giant leaders bickered over decades only to bog down “into a fixed and mutual dislike.”

They went to glory unreconciled. No happy ending indeed. Before reading further or after, you may wish to view here for a biblical account with a happier conclusion:

Or perhaps not entirely sad, if we learn the lessons that a four-hundred-year-past dispute offers. Cooper wrote this book with just that aim in mind. He performs a thorough Owen/Baxter relational postmortem. He records insightful observations and practical conclusions for negotiating our own context of conflict.

You need not fear the theological and historical sections interspersed throughout the book. They provide the necessary contexts for gleaning the peacemaking takeaways to be had. The rewards warrant any effort required by those who feel challenged by such content.

Cooper writes charitably. While leaning hard into Owen and Baxter’s faults for the purposes of this study, he doesn’t fail to remind us of the many virtues and gospel good works on display in their stories—both literarily and pastorally. They were indeed two good men, but like all of us, a mixed bag.

What follows this balanced disclaimer is a dissection of multiple forces—outside their control—which profoundly shaped the men over time. The author argues persuasively for how these things contributed to their relational demise.

He details their experience of a civil war, their geographical settings, their contrasting personalities, their theological debates (argued in print), their initial contact, their eventual in-person collision (ironically in a project designed to foster unity and mend division), and, last but not least, their lingering memory of past hurts that left them both bitter and resentful. Good grief! What a mess. Sound familiar? If so, you need to read this book.

You will find particularly helpful, as did I, the book’s conclusion. Cooper muses over five possibilities which may have resulted in a happy ending, not a sad one. What if there had been a mediator to assist them? What if they had focused more on what held them together and less on what drove them apart? What if they had paid more attention to the many Bible verses which summon us to unity and concord? What if they had manifested greater humility and less pride in their dealings with one another? Ouch! What if they could see what we can see with the advantage of distance and hindsight?

Do we see? If so, Dr. Cooper will have achieved his aim: “In understanding their story, perhaps we can better understand our own narratives. If we can see what they missed, perhaps we will have a much clearer idea of what we may be missing.”

Amen to that.

SOFT ANSWER, DOUBLE VICTORY

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Peacemaking Wisdom from Proverbs

Recently I’ve returned to a helpful practice I learned early on in my spiritual journey. Each morning I read a chapter of the book of Proverbs for that day of the month.

This time around I’m observing just how many verses contain valuable peacemaking insights. When I come across such verses, I often consult my favorite commentary on Proverbs by Charles Bridges.

Two days ago I paused on verse one of chapter 15:

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Bridges’ thoughts make for a worthwhile read:

WHAT a mine of practical wisdom is this Book of God! Let us ponder this valuable rule for self-discipline, family peace, and Church unity. Scripture often illustrates the different effects of the tongue. The soft answer is the water to quench–Grievous words are the oil to stir up, the fire. And this is, alas! man’s natural propensity, to feed rather than to quench, the angry flame. We yield to irritation; retort upon our neighbour; have recourse to self-justification; insist upon the last word; say all that we could say; and think we “do well to be angry.” (Jonah iv. 9.) Neither party gives up an atom of the will. Pride and passion on both sides strike together like two flints; and “behold! how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”  (Jam. iii. 5.) Thus there is the self-pleasing sarcasm; as if we had rather lose a friend, than miss a clever stroke. All this the world excuses as a sensitive and lively temper. But the gospel sets before us our Saviour’s example; imbues with his spirit; and imparts that blessed “charity, that is not easily provoked;” and therefore is careful not to provoke a chafed or wounded spirit. If others begin, let us forbear from continuing the strife. ‘Patience is the true peace-maker.’ Soft and healing words gain a double victory—over ourselves and our brother.

Two for the price of one. You can’t beat that.

COVID-19’S OTHER THREAT

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Heading Off Social Distancing of a Different Kind 

Social distancing (with a measure)

Our church reopened last Sunday! After six long, challenging weeks of stay-at-home lockdown, we eagerly gathered for worship in stage one of Idaho’s Rebound plan.

Given health risks, we observed safety protocols. Everything got sanitized. Social distancing was employed. We cancelled our regular weekly luncheon together.

Thankfully we survived week one of the new abnormal—but it wasn’t easy. Honestly, last week was the toughest this pastor pushed through thus far in his short tenure at Trinity.

Health issues aside, another threat posed by the pandemic tends to keep me awake at night.

One blogger astutely asked: “What will it matter if we re-assimilate only to end up ‘socially distant’ again not because of a virus, but because of our inability to love others who approach COVID-19 differently than we do?”

Great question!

Consider four ways to minimize the looming relational risks.

One, Pray for Leaders

Someone has to call the ball. Sheep are not stupid; they are dependent on good shepherds to serve them. Wisdom is needed everywhere.

Paul pleads of first importance “that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people–for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way (1 Tim. 2:1-2).”

What might change if we pray more for leaders at every level than we post criticism on social media about their judgments?

Two, Be Patient

I’m in Indiana Jones mode these days—making things up as I go along! They don’t teach “Pastoring in Pandemics” in seminary.

I feel in over my head. This thing seems way above my paygrade. The challenge to get things right grows bigger each day.

Leaders need followers who remember the first mark of love is patience (1 Cor. 13:4).

Three, Do Peacemaking

Opinions on all things COVID abound. With them comes the potential for sharp disagreements. What are we to do?

Of all the conciliatory principles I could cite, I suggest at least these three guidelines for avoiding falling out with others, if at all possible.

“Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (Rom. 14:5).

“Let us not pass judgment on one another” (Rom. 14:13).

“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you” (Rom. 15:7).

We need to give others a wide berth in figuring things out, in the same way we desire for them to treat us (Matt. 7:12).

Four, Keep Perspective 

Days after Nancy, my first wife, died of cancer, a lunatic gunned down 49 souls at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub.

KLTY radio 94.9 in Dallas-Ft. Worth asked me the ultimate question. Why? Among my answers: We live in a sin-broken world. Romans 8:22 explains: “the whole creation has been groaning in the pains of childbirth until now.”

Hardships like COVID shout to us, “This is not the way things are supposed to be. But it is not the way things will always be.” “We wait eagerly for adoption as sons” (Rom. 8:23).

Jesus will come again to make all things new! That’s the big-picture perspective.

Hope for that—but wait for it with patience (Rom. 8:25).

Question: What’s one thing which helps you love others with whom you differ?

CHURCH CONFLICT 101 A

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All or Nothing or Both/And Wrong in Conflict?

I blame you!

Knowing my passion for all things peacemaking, a friend recently shared this TGC post, Church Conflict 101, with me. I read it. My text reply was succinct: “Helpful distinction. Thanks.”

And I stand by that. An assertion like, “In every conflict there is always wrong on both sides.” is a dangerous overstatement.

Beware all-or-nothing words like “never” and “always.” Exceptions always exist. Arrgh–I just violated the rule!

Seriously, I appreciate what Pastor Ray–for whom I have much respect–labors to protect in this piece.

I take his underlying concern to be a 1 Timothy 5:19 one. “Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

He explains: “My appeal to all church leaders is that you will not be caught off-guard. Expect false accusations to surface, inconsolable hysteria, church crazy in various forms, targeting your pastor.”

He cautions wisely. At times church conflict is entirely one-sided. It can be on occasion more Cain and Abel-like or Saul and David-like or Ahab and Naboth-like or the Pharisees and Jesus-like or even the whole world and the apostles-like than not.

But if I may push back some from experience and the Scriptures with a 101 A addendum to his redemptive post, that kind of all-or-nothing lopsidedness in church conflict seems more the exception than the rule to me.

My forays into the battlegrounds of fights between believers have been more Paul and Barnabas-like (Acts 15:36-41), more Euodia and Syntyche-like (Phil. 4:2-3), and more Philemon and Onesimus-like (Philemon 8-20) than not.

Church Conflict 101 as a rule seems more about genuinely godly people hashing out disagreements over preferences, positions, and passions than plain good vs. evil guilt or innocence.

When confronted with a blatant all-or-nothing fight like Cain and Abel (1 John 3:11-12), by all means we must take categorical stances that unapologetically call out one-sided wickedness.

But caution is advised. The safest way to draw such unilateral conclusions without bypassing one’s own or others’ faults in the mix is to heed Jesus’s charge in Matthew 7:3-5. Take care to extract any logs out of your own eye before trying to remove any specks from your brother’s.

Wise is the pastor or any believer faced with conflict to conduct a James 4:1-3 self-check before proceeding into conversation with an opponent.

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

In fairness, Pastor Ray offers a constructive alternative to the unhelpful always posed at the outset of his post.

It would be better to say, “In every conflict there are always sinners on both sides. But whether there is wrong on both sides is the very question that demands a careful, thorough, responsible answer. Is there sin on both sides contributing to this conflict? Or could there be godliness on one side contributing to this conflict?” The Bible leads us into these categories of consideration, and they are profound.

Granted. Careful, thorough, responsible answers to the question of wrong on both sides must occur, but wise are the parties and any who mediate disputes to work both sides of the street thoroughly, lest any idol of the heart go unchecked and unnecessarily perpetuate a conflict.

John Calvin said it well: “Man’s nature is a perpetual factory of idols.”

We do well to remain mindful of that threat to all parties in our practice of Peacemaking 101.

BROTHER’S KEEPER

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A Peacemaking Tune by Rich Mullins

While preparing a killer beef stew yesterday, Jan dialed up a Rich Mullins’ playlist to enhance the cooking experience.

I pitched in as sous chef, chopping up a variety of veggies. Both of us love this artist’s contribution to contemporary Christian music, but I had never heard this tune before.

The lyrics come right out of Romans 14 and 15 about the peril’s of judging others in the body of Christ.

The threat a critical spirit poses to church unity is so destructive I included an entire chapter in my book about “welcoming” others who differ with us on matters of conscience.

Mullins spins it with a Genesis 4 positive emphasis about determining to be our brother’s keeper, not his judge.

I commend a quick view/listen and a diligent application of the truth sung.

BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS

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A Message at Crosswalk Church in Daytona Beach, Florida

It was my great joy and privilege this past Sunday as a guest preacher to bring a sermon about my passion for preserving church unity.

Many thanks to Pastor Mitch Pridgen and the Crosswalk family for the warm welcome and enthusiastic reception.

Fair warning–the video above is relatively long.

My friend begins with a gracious and very kind introduction.

He then has me introduce Jan, who proceeds to play and sing her original song, “Welcome Back to the Throne of Grace.”

If you check out any of this, watch her minister so very well. You will be blessed!

Given the length, the very end of my message does not appear online, but that was about my book and the copies I made available to the church.

Please pray that the Lord uses them in the lives of these precious saints.

I remain incredibly grateful for this new season in my life and ministry where I get to spread a passion for the God of peace and the unity of the church for which the Prince of Peace died and made into one body.

WHEN YOU CAN’T OVERLOOK

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How to Have a Difficult Conversation without It Blowing Up in Your Face

My post The Beauty of Overlooking stressed fighting anger with magnanimous forgiveness.

The follow-up post When Overlooking Is No Glory unpacked diagnostic questions to determine the difference between active overlooking and passive denial.

Soldier in full combat ammunition pulls a check from a grenade.

Now, how do we proceed with a difficult conversation with someone who offends without escalating conflict?

Douglas Stone and company, in their book Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most, nailed the challenge at hand:

Delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade. Coated with sugar, thrown hard or soft, a hand grenade is still going to do damage. Try as you may, there’s no way to throw a hand grenade with tact or to outrun the consequences. And keeping it to yourself is no better. Choosing not to deliver a difficult message is like hanging on to the hand grenade once you’ve pulled the pin. So we feel stuck. We need advice that is more powerful than “Be diplomatic” or “Try to stay positive.” The problems run deeper than that; so must the answers.

Galatians 6:1 gives us four deep answers.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

Remember Your Goal 

If you think someone has sinned against you, then they’ve gotten caught in a transgression. Your goal is not to vent; it’s to restore.

Don’t just look out for your own interest in repairing the harm done to you. Aim for his best interest in escaping the trap which has ensnared him (Phil. 2:3-4).

Walk in the Spirit

Offenses often trigger fleshly reactions–especially fits of anger (Gal. 5:20). Work them through BEFORE the difficult conversation. That might take some time.

Ask the Lord to fill you with the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) and to keep you in step with the Spirit all the way through the difficult conversation (Gal. 5:25).

Be Gentle

Paul stresses this aspect of the fruit of the Spirit for these assignments. Gentleness tempers an approach, lessening hand grenade impact.

Ask questions way more than making judgments. I love to lead such conversations with something like: “Remember that thing you said/did that time? What was going on there? Can you help me understand what that was about?”

Strive not to put others on the defensive; make them a partner in solving the matter.

Inventory your Contribution

You may have sinned, however slightly, so as to affect the situation. Heed Jesus’s instruction to remove any logs from your own eye (Matt. 7:3-5).

A preemptive, legitimate confession goes a long way to deffusing bomb threats to the conversation. You may only be 20% responsible for the conflict, but you are 100% responsible for your 20%.

It shocks me how often folks tell me how they’ve been hurt by others but never talked to the offender about it.

When you can’t overlook an offense, the best advice is TALK TO THE PERSON (Matt. 18:15)!

Just take care how you do it. Leave the hand grenades behind.

Question: What is something that has helped you navigate difficult conversations?