peacemaking

PASTORS MUST NOT BE MACHO MEN

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Seven Guidelines for Peaceable Spiritual Leaders

Fireman in fire sparks and smoke.

A colleague of mine in ministry calls himself “a conflict magnet.” I can relate. When I reflect on my thirty-year tenure in pastoral work, I wince over more relational battles than I care to remember.

My 2018 Journey post included disappointment in the way I navigated two particularly painful meetings. I suspect most pastors identify with the challenges which come with inevitable church conflict.

The apostle Paul prepped young pastor Timothy for handling opposition in a God-honoring way:

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will (2 Tim. 2:24-26).

Paul addresses the way pastors must engage people in conflict. In terms of what not to do, he commands only this: do not be quarrelsome.

The Greek word for quarrelsome comes from the root mache from where we get our English word macho. In Acts 7:26 it’s used for an actual physical fight. Pastors are not to be fighters, combatants–tackling conflict in a belligerent, contentious manner. That pattern disqualifies elders from office (1 Tim. 3:3). It reveals heart idols and passions yet to be conquered (James 4:1-2). There is a better way!

Seven Guidelines for Staying Peaceable in Conflict

One, faithfully embrace your identity. Pastors are first and foremost servants. Paul may have in mind the prophet’s Suffering Servant (Isa. 42:1-3). We must take our cue from Jesus who did not quarrel (Matt. 12:19).

Two, kindly engage your world. Pastors must show love (1 Cor. 13:4) by being kind to all without exception. If every believer must avoid quarreling but be gentle and show perfect courtesy toward all people (Titus 3:2), how much more should God’s shepherds.

Three, diligently use your skills. Able to teach. Elders serve because God has equipped them to instruct others in godly living (2 Tim. 4:1-2). Guide opponents into passages which address issues at hand. Let the Word of God do its powerful work (Heb. 4:12).

Handsome man reading and praying over Bible in a dark room over gray texture

Four, patiently endure your offenses. Opponents will do you evil at times though undeserved. Plan on it. I’ve been called names. I’ve had my motives misjudged. What to do when attacked? Bear up under the evil with the Lord’s help (1 Pet. 2:21-24).

Five, gently correct your opponents. Whether for false teaching, immoral behavior, or other wrongs, people will need admonishment (1 Thess. 5:12). Do it gently (Gal. 6:1). Picture the way a mother cares for her children and a father exhorts the same (1 Thess. 2:7-12).

Six, humbly trust your God. No other truth in this text will help more to keep you from turning macho in a conflict. Pastors don’t make anybody change direction; God is the one who gives the gift of repentance leading back to the truth. Rest in that. He has to work and is always working (John 5:17).

Seventh, prayerfully fight your real enemy. Paul ends by reminding that Satan ultimately ensnares someone taken captive by sin. Never forget the true nature of the fight–spiritual warfare. Put on the whole armor of God and pray at all times for all the saints (Eph. 6:10-20).

Helps for Growing as Peaceable Pastors in Conflict

There are three resources that have helped me immensely toward a peaceable path as a pastor. A recent post featured Alexander Strauch’s book, Leading with Love. I commend it again. Alfred Poirier’s book The Peacemaking Pastor is another must read for pursuing peaceable ways in ministry.

Another terrific help is Ken Sande’s ministry RW360. Last year I worked through his online training in relational wisdom to great advantage. Check it out.

Pastors, let us be peaceable, non-macho servants of our gentle, lowly-in-heart Master (Matt. 11:29)!

Question: What is a lesson you’ve learned about spiritual leadership which is peaceable with others in conflict?

BOOK LAUNCH BLAST

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Giving Thanks for Results Far Beyond My Expectations

book signing

On Sunday evening, November 25, I experienced my first-ever book signing event. I had no idea what to expect. Talk about new territory for this rookie author!

I wondered how many folks would possibly venture out on a holiday weekend for such a reason. We didn’t count heads, but the numbers and the outcome far exceeded my expectations.

My successor at OGC, Pastor Jim, texted me the next day saying he was blown away—and I quote: “Book signings in the 21st century are almost extinct. You officially had more people than Hillary Clinton’s last book signing!”

I seriously doubt that, but I appreciated the comment as his way of congratulating me on a surprising success. Back now at home in Idaho, I just had to post my thanksgiving for the following things:

One, the gracious hospitality of Orlando Grace Church in opening the fellowship hall for the evening and for making the atmosphere so utterly attractive and warm.

Two, for Kathy H. and a host of other servants who bent over backwards to make Jan and me feel welcomed and to serve our guests with top-shelf refreshments and care.

Three, for family, OGC folks, previous church folks, La Floresta neighbors, and even people I’d never met before waiting patiently in the long line for signing and pictures.

Four, for my neuropathy-impaired right hand holding up through two-plus hours of signing and contributing reasonably legible notes and signatures.

Five, for how many folks purchased multiple copies informing me of their intention to gift their pastors with one. Jan and I repeatedly pray that the Lord will put The Peacemaking Church in the hands of whomever He will for the good of their souls and the peace of their churches.

Six, for getting out nearly every single copy of the six cases we had Baker ship to Orlando. I took only three copies back home in my carry on.

Seven, for a deacon who took twenty-five copies to give to family and friends as Christmas gifts. Thankfully he required me to sign just the one for him!

Eight, for everyone who supported the launch with a purchase of the book.

And nine—if I may be so bold to give thanks in advance for this praise—for everyone who will read the book they bought and post a fair and honest review on Amazon as soon as possible.

The presence of numerous reviews makes a big difference in getting a book out into the world and Amazon is the place to do it. You can post your review here.

Again, my thanks to all who contributed to a book launch beyond my wildest dreams. Please pray with me that the Lord will use The Peacemaking Church to His glory and the church’s good!

Question: What quote or idea from the book thus far has impacted you?

ESSENTIAL EVIDENCE OF FAMILY RESEMBLANCE

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How to Know You Belong to the “Many Brethren”

Collage Of A Smiling People

The apostle Paul calls Jesus “the firstborn among many brethren” (Rom. 8:29). How many? That’s a number no man can count (Rev.7:9).

Octavius Winslow poses a far more important question related to our familial resemblance to Jesus in his classic devotional Morning Thoughts.

Be sure to read through to his practical illustration (bold below):

The one family of God is composed of “many brethren.” They are not all of the same judgment in all matters, but they are all of the same spirit. The unity of the family of God is not ecclesiastical nor geographical, it is spiritual and essential. It is the “unity of the Spirit.” Begotten of one Father, in the nature of the Elder Brother, and through the regenerating grace of the one Spirit, all the saints of God constitute one church, one family, one brotherhood—essentially and indivisibly one. Nor is this relationship difficult to recognize. Take an illustration. Two brethren in the Lord of widely different sections of the Church, and of much dissonance of sentiment on some points of truth, meet and converse together. Each wonders that, with the Word of God in his hand, the other should not read it as he reads it, and interpret it as he interprets it. But they drop the points of difference, and take up the points of agreement. They speak of Christ—the Christ who loves them both, and whom they both love. They talk of the one Master whom they serve; of their common labors and infirmities, trials and temptations, discouragements, failures, and success; they talk of the heaven where they are journeying; of their Father’s house, in which they will dwell together for ever; they kneel in prayer; they cast themselves before the cross; the oil of gladness anoints them; their hearts are broken, their spirits are humbled, their souls are blended; they rise, and feel more deeply and more strongly than ever, that they both belong to the same family, are both of the “many brethren,” of whom the Son of God is the “Firstborn,” the Elder Brother. Oh, blessed unity! What perfect harmony of creed, what strict conformity of ritual, what sameness of denominational relation, is for a moment to be compared with this? Have you, my reader, this evidence that you belong to the “many brethren”?

Be eager to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph. 4:3).

That’s how you know you belong to the many brethren who treasure our Elder Brother.

A LIFE WORTHY OF THE GOSPEL (4)

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How the Gospel Stuns Us into Lowliness

servanthood

In this latest series of posts, I’ve argued from Philippians 2:1-11 that a life worthy of the gospel treasures and fosters unity in Christ’s church as a non-negotiable priority. 

So far we’ve considered the why and the how of such a life. Lastly, let’s examine what unity takes (vv. 5-11).

Likely an early hymn of the church, this section of Philippians 2 spans the humiliation and exaltation of our Lord Jesus.

Zero in on v. 5. Have this mind (there’s that word again—the way we think matters so much in a church desiring unity) among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus.

What does it take–this unity, humility, concern thing in Christ’s church? It requires the mind of Christ.

It takes Christ’s way of thinking, acting, humbling, emptying, serving, even dying—all so beautifully modeled in His incarnation, laying aside His divine prerogatives, taking the form of a bondservant and dying for our sins.

This Jesus template must govern our thinking at every turn. It involves three things.

One, you must be joined to Christ to even have the mind of Christ. It takes doing what the Bible calls repentance–turning away from your selfish ways and trusting in Jesus’ death on the cross.

Faith joins you to Christ such that you can die to self and live for Him by caring for others.

Two, you must abide continually in Christ (John 15:1-8). Steep yourself in the Word of Jesus and meditate on His love. Pray He gives you His mind, particularly in dealing with those you like least in His church.

Three, trust in Christ that He will reward you as you choose humility and concern for others. He will guard your rights as you lay them down for others.

It takes faith to act on the mind of Christ as a selfless, giving, servant-minded person. God exalts those who humble themselves even as Jesus did, but He humbles those who exalt themselves.

John Piper asks:

Why do Christians walk through life feeling a humble sense that we owe service to people, rather than them owing us? The answer is that Christ loved us and died for us and forgave us and accepted us and justified us and gave us eternal life and made us heirs of the world when he owed us nothing. He treated us as worthy of his service, when we were not worthy of his service. He took thought not only for his own interests but for ours. He counted us as greater than himself: “Who is the greater,” he said, “one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves” (Luke 22:27). That is where our humility comes from. We feel overwhelmed by God’s grace: bygone grace in the cross and moment-by-moment arriving grace promised for our everlasting future. Christians are stunned into lowliness. Freely you have been served, freely serve. Emphasis added.

Lives worthy of the gospel treasure and foster unity as a non-negotiable priority.

We know why it matters, how it works, and what it takes.

May we be stunned into lowliness while we wait for the exaltation to come.

Question: What gospel passages in the Scripture most help shape your thinking toward lowliness?

 

THE PEACEMAKING CHURCH

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An Update on a Book Long in Coming

Heffelfinger_ThePeacemakingChurch.indd

I submitted to Baker Publishing Group a proposal for writing a book way back at the end of 2014.

Much to my delight they accepted and fixed a date for submission.

Then the wheels came off with Nancy’s cancer fight and my jaw surgeries.

My editor graciously granted one delay after another.

In September of last year, I finally turned in a draft manuscript.

After Baker ran me through the editorial meat grinder (thankfully), I labored over a revision. It passed muster with the publisher in December 2017.

Today I learned from the marketing department that Baker posted a page on their website about the book with links to Amazon and other vendors. You can access it here.

I love the cover they designed. Ken Sande of RW360 wrote me a more-favorable-than-I-dared-imagine foreword. Thank you, brother!

The subtitle differs from my suggested version: The Best Fight Is the One Your Church Never Has. But what do I know? When you’re a rookie, you gladly defer to the pros.

The process begins now for seeking endorsements. That’s a big deal, since I’m a small potatoes pastor in Florida. But God knows how He may use the effort.

Baker tells me they plan to publish this November. Watch for further updates, if you are at all interested. I’ll keep you posted.

I am so grateful for God’s grace to get this done. Thanks to so many who have cheered me along the road to publication.

LIVING IN PEACE & THE KISS OF LOVE

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How Striving for Peace Fuels the Kiss of Love

peace

A church at odds will not likely have many of its folks practicing the gospel virtue of greeting one another with the kiss of love (1 Pet. 5:14). Perhaps that’s why Paul finishes the way he does in the passage under consideration in this latest series of posts.

After emphasizing the role of joy, wholeness, submission and agreement for enhancing the practice of greeting with a holy kiss in 2 Cor. 13:11-12, the apostle Paul ends with one final factor.

“Live in peace.”

Rejoice, aim for restoration, listen to my appeal, agree with one another, live in peace.

So many texts of the New Testament point us to this last virtue. Consider Heb. 12:14:

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

It is the duty of the church to strive for peace, to work hard at peacemaking, as those shaped by the gospel of the ultimate peacemaker, Jesus, who reconciled us to God (2 Cor. 5:18).

Notice the sweet promise with which Paul finishes for the church that prizes these five things: and the God of love and peace will be with you.

The God who supplies love and peace, given that’s His nature, will abide with the church in a special way with that love and peace. Of course inherent with the promise comes the warning that to fail to do these things means He will withdraw the same.

If we consistently do these things–rejoice in God, aim for perfection, submit to godly, gospel-laced, Bible-saturated authority, agree on the truth, and strive for the peace of our church–we stand to excel as one holy kissing bunch of believers!

Not that I necessarily want to say that you go out and from now on do the peck on the cheek thing. But as a rule something more may befit us than the token handshake of our culture.

Holy hugs (men with women and vice versa remember – side hugs or A-frame only) capture a whole lot more of the spirit of what the Bible teaches here than the casual wave or minimal greeting.

Let me leave you with this one thought. If the idea of giving someone else in the body a holy kiss seems unpleasant, even repugnant to you, you more than likely have some peacemaking to do.

Determine to rely on Jesus’ peacemaking power and the gospel’s impetus to help you engage others with a holy, tangible intimacy.

Greet one another with the kiss of love.

 

SUBMISSION & THE KISS OF LOVE

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How Following Leadership Fuels the Kiss of Love

File'-Saint_Paul_Writing_His_Epistles'_by_Valentin_de_Boulogne

When you blog as a pastor you never know. Does anyone read what you write?

I was both blessed and bothered recently by a report. Someone told me they were glad I have been writing lately on the New Testament exhortation to greet one another with a holy kiss (2 Cor. 13:12).

Great. Score one for this pastor/blogger. Somebody actually reads these posts. My elation was soon tempered.

“We think your church has become unloving.” Ouch. So much for self-congratulation.

Guess I need to keep hammering away at this subject.

In the first post I explained how the gospel shapes our community with oneness when we engage one another intentionally by greeting with the holy kiss of love.

In the second post I emphasized how rejoicing in the Lord is the first of four things Paul proposes for motivating the practice of greeting one another with a holy kiss.

In the third post, I unpacked how aiming for restoration–setting high goals compels doing the holy kiss thing in church.

In this post we turn to the next imperative in Paul’s arsenal from 2 Cor. 13:11 to promote his unity purposes at Corinth: submitting to the leadership.

The ESV offers an alternative in the margin to the next command, comfort one another.

For reasons I won’t elaborate on, I prefer the footnote. Listen to my appeal.

Throughout this letter Paul has brought apostolic correction in the way of inspired teaching designed to cure what ails them as a church.

It is imperative that they heed his counsel and follow his instruction if they have any hope of righting the ship, mending their ways, and going on to maturity.

In this he directs them yet another time away from the destructive influence of the false teachers plaguing the fellowship and draws them back into the safety of his pastoral and apostolic leadership.

In a community, some have to lead and others have to follow. Elders don’t possess apostolic authority, but God has entrusted them with ecclesiastical authority for which they will give an account (Heb. 13:17).

Without order in leading and following you have little likelihood of a church of peace where love can be readily expressed including things like the holy kiss.

Thus Peter says in 1 Pet. 5:5: Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

John MacArthur put it this way:

There must be a character of submission in the church in that it submits itself willingly to the authority of God, to heed all the appeals based on truth, all the calls to righteousness. Paul is saying to the Corinthians, “Look, if you’re going to be the kind of church you ought to be and enjoy the perfection that I desire for you . . . there needs to be a pervasive submission to that which is authoritative from the mind of God to you.”

Nobody likes the “S” word. I get that. But rightly understood, it matters greatly for preserving the gift of unity in the church.

Submissive types hug; rebels self-protect. Which are you?

“SULLY” SENSATIONAL

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Four Things Peacemaking Leaders Do Well To Imitate from Captain Sullenberger

Rarely do I want to see motion pictures in a theater these days. The dearth of redemptive films released lately disappoints a guy like me who relishes quality cinema.

alg-plane-jpg

No problem on that score with “Sully”–director Clint Eastwood’s riveting telling of the drama surrounding the US Air pilot who successfully landed Flight 1549 in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009 after a crippling bird strike shortly upon takeoff.

This film moved me to tears at points. As I left the theater I asked the Lord why that was so. His answer seemed so clear to me. The main character, played masterfully by Tom Hanks, represents so much of the kind of man I desire to be as a peacemaking pastor.

These four virtues stood out along the 96 minute run time, which frankly felt more like half as many minutes to me.

One, humility. Though highly regarded by an admiring populace throughout NYC, Sully eschews the role of hero. “Just doing my job.” Effective peacemaking leadership which eagerly preserves the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace starts with this all-important virtue (Eph. 4:1-3).

Two, patience. Much of the film’s tension in storytelling surrounds the aftermath of the crash as the NTSB investigates the details of the event. The search for error on both pilots’ part resulting in the water landing rather than returning to La Guardia airport leads to insinuation of fault at best and outright accusation of blame at worst.

Not once does Sully lose his cool. He even intercepts the rising irritation on his co-pilot’s part before emotions can escalate unhelpfully during their public hearing. Peacemaking pastors must model a patiently-enduring-evil-self-control or risk losing the reconciliation effort due to their own sinfulness (2 Tim. 2:24).

Three, love. One of my favorite moments in the film comes near the end. A reporter asks how Sully did the feat never done before. He immediately responded, “I didn’t. We did it, all of us.” Then he proceeded to rattle off the litany of names of the crew, the first responders on the scene, citizens of the New York City, etc., praising the efforts of others in partnership that remarkable day. Peacemaking leaders affirm others and deflect attention from themselves for the greater good (Phil. 2:3-4).

Four, perseverance. The man never caved under pressure. He pursued the truth in love at every turn. Perhaps the most compelling scene for this pastor came on the downed plane apparently empty of all 155 souls on board. The intensity with which the captain searched the fast-flooding plane to make as certain as possible all were accounted for before he abandoned the aircraft inspired me. I immediately thought of Heb. 13:17. Peacemaking pastors who will give account to God for the souls on board their churches must exercise a similar resolve to do all they can for their welfare.

Check out the trailer below for a sneak peek.

I intend to see it again with my co-pilot, Pastor Mike, to compare notes about how we can become become better peacemaking leaders from this powerful example.

CHURCH PEACE: A WARFARE MATTER (1)

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Four Spiritual Warfare Strategies for Preserving Peace in the Church

Religious celebrations of Easter Week, SpainConclusions matter.

From dessert and coffee at a restaurant, to the the climax of a story, to (this matters especially to pastors like me) how the sermon ends, the way things come to a close can make all the difference in the experience.

Lately in my study I’ve camped out a lot in Eph. 6:10-20. Paul’s treatment there of the challenging subject of spiritual warfare forms the focus of my church’s men’s retreat at the end of this month.

Think about it. He ends this exquisite letter to the the church at Ephesus on this note: we Christians are at war. We find ourselves in a never-ending conflict with formidable forces. Much opposition confronts anyone serious about walking in a manner worthy of the gospel.

Among those things, and the first place he starts in Eph. 4:3, is doing our best to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Safeguarding the treasured gift of unity in your church means you have to go to war over it.

It’s a high-stakes, dangerous, but utterly worthwhile undertaking.

Here are four strategies (a preview of our retreat content) for waging the spiritual battle.

One, trust your God for His strength. Be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might (10). This same power raised Jesus from the dead (Eph. 1:19-20). We have everything we need in the way of strength for this ongoing struggle. We draw from the One who effectively disarmed the enemy at Calvary (Col. 2:15).

Additionally our powerful God has equipped us with impressive battle gear designed to protect us so that we may stand and not fall (11). More on that in strategy #3.

Two, know your enemy for his schemes. The objective in this fight is plain–that you may be able to stand (11). Satan and his minions deployed in the invisible realm (12) plot our undoing. We must give him/them no ground.

The enemy attacks on multiple fronts: accusation (Rev. 12:10); deception (Gen. 3:1-6); sins like anger (Eph. 4:26-27) and withholding forgiveness (2 Cor. 2:10-11); just to name a few. Luther said it well in A Mighty Fortress:

For still our ancient foe,
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and pow’r are great,
And, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

Lesson?

Don’t underestimate the foe. Arm yourself with a informed knowledge of his shrewd tactics.

Three, wear your armor for its protection. The bulk of the passage focuses on the battle gear God supplies every believer for spiritual warfare (14-17). Paul repeatedly emphasizes our responsibility to put it on–take it up–all of it. We dare not engage this battle every day without every one of the six components.

What they are and some thoughts about them, plus strategy #4, will come with my next post and the second part on this subject.

In the meantime, take heed to this exhortation from Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones:

Do not relax. “Maintain the field!” You are always on duty in the Christian life, you can never relax. There is no such thing as a holiday in the spiritual realm.

Peacemaking warriors! Maintain the field! Ever on duty, battle to preserve the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace in your churches.