I am remembering arguably the hardest time in my journey through cancer valley.
From my journal of 8.23.05:
The misery shows no signs of abating. Lord, have mercy. My tongue, mouth and lips are raw. I’m nauseous most of the day. The mucous is relentless. How long before the side effects give way and I find relief? O, Lord, grant me endurance. Grant me strength. I almost wept over the pain this afternoon. The taste in my mouth is metallic and bitter. To swallow a pain pill is necessary but always an effort for fear of gagging and throwing up. This may prove one of the longest weeks yet in the trial. Please don’t give me more than I can bear, Father. I’ve never felt affliction like this. How do people who live with it all the time survive. I at least have hope of relief. It can’t come soon enough. Guard my lips, O God, in this affliction.
I say, Bless you cancer, for multiple reasons. One is because 2 Cor. 1:4 is true. God comforts us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
I now possess pastoral compassion for those who battle chronic pain in a way I never would have known before. God uses suffering to make us better comforters of others in their affliction. The comfort that thought brings is not colossal during one’s trial but it grows in its significance over time as you see the Lord redeem it in the lives of others.