As I pass the one year anniversary of loss, I return today to the duties that lie nearest. Study, sermon writing, board meeting prep, pastoral care, etc.

Before me lies the uncertainty of Nancy, my bride’s, health and what the rest of 2015 will bring on that front, not to say numerous others.

This good word from Oswald Chambers expresses my desires in moving forward:

Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, “Except ye become as little children.” Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. “Believe also in Me,” said Jesus, not – “Believe certain things about Me.” Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.

To quote Forrest Gump and perhaps balance things a bit, “I think it’s both.” The virtue of gracious uncertainty which embraces God in the future includes shouts of joy AND sighs of sadness.

Grateful that Ecclesiastes 7:13-14 is in the Book.