birth

A BIRTHDAY PRAYER

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Heart Desires as I Turn 74

Who am I, Father in heaven, that you would grant me length of days such as these?

Moses, the man of God prayed, “The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10). You have given me now four years of relative strength past the norm. With each day that passes time seems to fly by swift as a weaver’s shuttle (Job 7:6). How many more days, months, years may you possibly have for me? Surely, you alone know.

I wonder, Father, on yet another September 15, about certain things. Am I any wiser? Am I more loving? Am I more Christ-like? Has my awe at your greatness and glory increased as I have asked of you each day upon awaking? If so, all glory and praise belong to you.

I pray with Moses, Lord, teach me to number my days that I may present to you a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). Help me to redeem the time for the days are evil (Eph. 5:16). Strengthen me to run the race set before me with endurance looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of my faith (Heb. 12:2). While with each day that passes, I do experience the gradual wasting away of my outer self, I pray that inwardly I will be renewed all the more every day (2 Cor. 4:16). Grant that I may diligently seek the things above where Christ is seated at the throne of God (Col. 3:1) and strive to make my calling and election sure (2 Pet. 1:10).

Sovereign God, cancer taught me that my times are in your hands (Psalm 31:15). Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16). I thank you each day as I sip my morning coffee and talk with you that heaven is my ultimate home and I’m one day closer. I know that the day of my death will be better than the day of my birth (Ecc. 7:1) because I will rest from my labors (Rev. 14:13) and death will be no more (Rev. 21:4). And I am confident that whatever the day, place, and time of my homegoing, it is a precious, weighty, serious matter in your sight (Psalm 116:15). Dying will be most assuredly gain (Phil. 1:21b).

Until then, dear Father, may this be true for me: to live is Christ (Phil. 1:21a)! Grant that I may flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Plant me in the house of the Lord; make me flourish in your courts. May I still bear fruit in old age; be ever full of sap and green, to declare that you are upright; you are my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in you (Psalm 92:12-15). Grant that I may work while it is yet day, for the time is coming when no one may work (John 9:4). And whatever I do, in word or deed, may I do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to you, Father through him (Col. 3:17). And whatever may come and however long I may yet live, I am sure of this, that you who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6). Soli Deo Gloria.

In Jesus’s name and for his sake, Amen.

BONHOEFFERS MORNING PRAYER

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Dietrich BonhoefferNew Year’s Day, 2015. Time to reflect back in hopes of moving forward.
2014 started miserably with death in January. Grief took up an unwelcome residence in our household. Lesson learned? The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).
The year peaked sweetly with blessing in July. Twin grand kids. It doesn’t get much better. Lesson learned? There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2). 
We crash dived hard with sickness in December. Cancer again. But this time attacking the queen. Lesson learned? Being learned? Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:4).
Why must it be so hard? How does one press on into another year when the first Friday will bring another doctor’s visit and the prospect of more bad news?
Turn everlastingly Godward.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer did. Imprisoned in Nazi Germany for opposing Hitler’s Third Reich, he wrote his famous treatise, Letters from Prison. It proved a great comfort to me time and again when I read it during my cancer journey in 2005. A friend of mine recently sent me a copy of Bonhoeffer’s Morning Prayer (see below). The German pastor read it to his fellow prisoners that Christmas morning in 1943. My friend wrote a note with it expressing his hope it would strengthen me and Nancy in, as he put it, “this latest chapter in your life.”
It did. It does. Thanks, Mike.
May it do the same for you, dear reader, whatever 2015 brings to your household.
MORNING PRAYER
Christmas, 1943
God, to you I call early in the morning.
Help me pray
And gather my thoughts to yourself
I cannot do it alone.
In me it is dark,
But with you is the light;
I am lonely, but you forsake me not;
I am faint-hearted, but with you is help;
I am restless, but with you is peace;
In me is bitterness, but with you is patience;
I do not understand my way, but
You know the way for me.
Father in Heaven,
Praise and thanks
Be yours for the night’s rest.
Praise and thanks be your for the new day.
Praise and thanks be yours for all your kindness
And faithfulness in my past life.
You have shown me much good,
Let me now receive from your hand
What is hard (emphasis mine).
You will not lay upon me
More than I can bear.
For your children you let all things
Serve for the best.
Lord Jesus Christ,
You were poor
And miserable, captive and forsaken as I am.
You know every need of humans,
You remain with me
When no man stands by me,
You forget me not and seek me,
You will that I recognize you
And turn to you.
Lord, I hear your call and follow,
Help me!
Holy Spirit,
Give me the faith that rescues me from
Despair, addictions, and vice,
Give me the love for God and humans,
That destroys all hate and bitterness,
Give me the hope that frees me from
Fear and despondency.
Holy, merciful God,
My Creator and my Savior,
My Judge and my Deliverer,
You know me and everything I do.
You hate and punish evil in this world
And in the next with no respect of persons;
You forgive sins for the one
Who asks sincerely;
You love good and reward it on this
Earth with a good conscience
And in the world to come
With the crown of righteousness.
Before you I think of all my loved ones,
And of my fellow prisoners, and of all those
Who do their hard service in this house.
Lord, have mercy!
Grant me freedom again,
And let me so live in the present
That I can live responsibly
Before humans.
Lord, whatever else this day brings—
May your name be praised!
Amen.