Heart Desires as I Turn 74
Who am I, Father in heaven, that you would grant me length of days such as these?
Moses, the man of God prayed, “The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10). You have given me now four years of relative strength past the norm. With each day that passes time seems to fly by swift as a weaver’s shuttle (Job 7:6). How many more days, months, years may you possibly have for me? Surely, you alone know.
I wonder, Father, on yet another September 15, about certain things. Am I any wiser? Am I more loving? Am I more Christ-like? Has my awe at your greatness and glory increased as I have asked of you each day upon awaking? If so, all glory and praise belong to you.
I pray with Moses, Lord, teach me to number my days that I may present to you a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). Help me to redeem the time for the days are evil (Eph. 5:16). Strengthen me to run the race set before me with endurance looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of my faith (Heb. 12:2). While with each day that passes, I do experience the gradual wasting away of my outer self, I pray that inwardly I will be renewed all the more every day (2 Cor. 4:16). Grant that I may diligently seek the things above where Christ is seated at the throne of God (Col. 3:1) and strive to make my calling and election sure (2 Pet. 1:10).
Sovereign God, cancer taught me that my times are in your hands (Psalm 31:15). Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16). I thank you each day as I sip my morning coffee and talk with you that heaven is my ultimate home and I’m one day closer. I know that the day of my death will be better than the day of my birth (Ecc. 7:1) because I will rest from my labors (Rev. 14:13) and death will be no more (Rev. 21:4). And I am confident that whatever the day, place, and time of my homegoing, it is a precious, weighty, serious matter in your sight (Psalm 116:15). Dying will be most assuredly gain (Phil. 1:21b).
Until then, dear Father, may this be true for me: to live is Christ (Phil. 1:21a)! Grant that I may flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Plant me in the house of the Lord; make me flourish in your courts. May I still bear fruit in old age; be ever full of sap and green, to declare that you are upright; you are my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in you (Psalm 92:12-15). Grant that I may work while it is yet day, for the time is coming when no one may work (John 9:4). And whatever I do, in word or deed, may I do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to you, Father through him (Col. 3:17). And whatever may come and however long I may yet live, I am sure of this, that you who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6). Soli Deo Gloria.
In Jesus’s name and for his sake, Amen.