Eleven Marks of Do-It-Best Peacemakers

Remember that classic Forrest Gump quote? “Stupid is as stupid does.” The same goes for any subject we consider. The proof is in the doing.

I built my book around the Ephesian 4:3 call to the all-important doing of guarding church unity.

Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful]. Amplified Bible

Do your best to maintain the unity of the Spirit by means of the bond of peace. International Standard Version

Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. English Standard Version

Whatever the translation—eager, make every effort, do your best—we get the point. Nothing less than our very best effort will suffice as guardians of peace in the local church.

To that end, please test your eager-is-as-eager-does quotient by these eleven marks of peacemaking excellence:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart (Col. 3:15).

Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs said it well: “There is nothing makes a man or woman to be of a peaceable disposition more than when they find satisfaction within their own hearts.” The Christian relishes no greater delight than knowing he has peace with God having been justified by faith (Rom. 5:1). When that reality rules the heart, a peaceable disposition impacts how we engage challenging relationships.

Pray passionately for peace among God’s people (John 17:21).

Intercede often for this. Ask, seek, and knock with petitions that plead with the Lord to protect the peace and purity of your church. We do not have because we do not ask (James 4:2). Consider praying something like David did in Psalm 122:6-9:

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem! “May they be secure who love you! Peace be within your walls and security within your towers!” For my brothers and companions’ sake I will say, “Peace be within you!” For the sake of the house of the LORD our God, I will seek your good.

Get equipped with tools for effective conflict resolution (Heb. 12:14).

Tap into helpful resources which can outfit you with specific tools for peacemaking. Follow Ken Sande at RW360 for cultivating relational wisdom making you more God-aware, self-aware, and others-aware. Read books like Resolving Everyday Conflict, Christ-Centered Conflict Resolution, The Peacemaker, The Peacemaking Pastor, and more.

Take up the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20).

Do not be ignorant of Satan’s schemes (2 Cor. 2:11)! He delights to divide (Matt. 12:22-28). Your fight is not ultimately with your brother you can see, but with your archenemy you can’t see. Use all the mighty weapons of your warfare (2 Cor 10:4).

Walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh (Gal. 5:16).

Guard your heart from the deceitfulness of sin. Conflict often reveals you to be your own worst enemy. Extract any logs in your own eye before attempting surgery on the specks in your brother’s (Matt. 7:3-5). Determine to be controlled only by the Holy Spirit and to manifest His fruit at all times (Gal. 5:22-23). Do whatever it takes on your part to make peace with others (Rom. 12:18). You may only be 2% responsible in a conflict, but you are 100% responsible for your 2%.

Balance truth and love (Eph. 4:15).

Never sacrifice gospel truth in the name of love, but never champion biblical truth at the expense of love. You may end up no better than a good-for-nothing clanging cymbal or noisy gong (1 Cor. 13:1-3). Often the manner in which you engage a conflict matters as much, if not more, than the issue at stake.

Look out for others’ interests (Phil. 2:3-4).

Don’t fixate on the opposing positions which present within a conflict. Explore the underlying concerns which often illuminate the why behind some desired outcome. Ask probing questions to draw out motives of the heart. Idols get revealed, compromises get made, and agreement gets reached when we care for more than our own interests.

Enlist help from others (Phil. 4:2-3).

When individual peacemaking efforts stall, ascend higher up conflict’s slippery slope to pursue assisted peacemaking. Ask a pastor, counselor, or mature believer with some knowledge and skill in this area to help mediate the dispute. Two are better than one (Ecc. 4:9-12).

Expect to be tested (1 Cor. 11:17-22).

Don’t be surprised by divisions and schisms in the church when they occur. Jesus warned about the inevitability of testing/temptations (Matt. 18:7). By necessity they sift the flock to separate the genuine from the bogus. Peacemakers shine forth in such crises by the way they pass the tests which threaten unity.

Never ultimately leave the church (1 John 2:19).

Conflicts within the church can and do inflict serious wounds. No wonder Paul calls us to patient forbearing (Eph. 4:2) with our brothers and sisters’ faults! That said, some circumstances may result in the need to change churches, but please never entertain the notion of abandoning local church participation entirely. She is God’s Plan A for accomplishing the Great Commission (Matt. 16:18).

Trust God and His purposes (Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31).

Keep perspective. God is never outdone. Conflict is not an accident; it’s an assignment from God to honor and glorify him, to grow in Christlikeness, and to love and serve others. He will always use it for your good no matter how hard the task at hand.

Well, how do you stack up? Where might you up your eager-for-unity game in moving forward? I challenge you to focus on just one thing from the list for the next forty days in the interest of the peace and good of your local church.

I’d love to pray for you. Please message me with your request in the comment section below.