Author: revheff

SAD NEWS ABOUT MY NANCY

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The Latest on Her Battle with Cancer

Yesterday, May 27, we admitted my bride to the hospital. Over the last week her physical distress rose alarmingly fast. Thankfully doctors quickly stabilized things. She is much more comfortable today.

NanGravatar

This morning we learned the cause for her symptoms. The spread of disease now  compromises some major organs. The weakness of her condition furthermore prohibits the possibility of any standard of care chemotherapy treatment.

Nan grasps the gravity of the situation. She has fought her fight with the courage of her personal convictions. She has done so without complaint. The joy of the Lord has been her strength and remains so (Neh. 8:10). She does not despair knowing what pleasures await at her Savior’s right hand (Psalm 16:11).

A hospice rep will meet with us tomorrow. Joel, our son, arrives tonight. He plans to join us for that appointment with the nurse. As soon as arrangements can be made, likely no more than a day or two, we will move Nancy to the comfort of our home.

Words cannot convey my unique privilege to serve both as Nan’s husband and pastor. We talked and wept together over the news earlier today. I reminded her (and myself) that God regards as “precious”–the Hebrew means significant, weighty, no small thing in His sight–the death of His saints (Psalm 116:15). Her times are in His hands. He will walk with her through the valley of the shadow; she fears no evil (Psalm 23:4).

Lately I’ve spent a fair amount of time meditating on Phil. 4:11-13. Paul writes from prison:

11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

This turn of events brings me low–lower than my own cancer, a broken jaw, even the loss of our beloved Joshua, or any other hard providence we have faced. My schooling in the secret of contentment faces its biggest challenge. Though I expect the degree of difficulty to grow exponentially in the days ahead, I hope to bank everything on the massive promise of v. 13–I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Please pray for Nan’s comfort and care during this time. I want to love and serve her well at every turn. She’s pretty weak. I’m not certain at what point, if at all, she will desire visitors. We will just have to see how she does once we get her home. Many thanks.

Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing (2 Cor. 6:10), we press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:14).

HEALTH SAGA REPORT

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The Latest Update on Nancy and Me

As I write the news concerning my jaw journey and Nan’s cancer fight, I am reminded of Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4:16:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

Stamina. Business man pointing to transparent board with text: Resilience

By God’s grace we remain steadfast (James 5:11). The Lord kindly renews us daily with His lavish mercies and great faithfulness (Lam. 3:22-23).

Through the ups and downs of doctors’ visits, lab reports, treatments et al, we continue to hang in and trust God’s unwavering goodness. Here’s what we know at this point:

First, regarding Nancy. We finally received the lab results on the fluid extracted from her some weeks ago. They tested eleven different chemo drugs for potential effectiveness on her form of disease.

Not a single one registered positive. Her doctor admitted any attempt at standard of care therapy would constitute a “crap shoot.” Not exactly overly motivating, as one might imagine.

Nan continues to fight fluid build up. It gets drained as needed. She battles away on the alternative therapy front. A new practitioner has entered the picture. She remains optimistic, reporting some symptom progress as a result of new strategies.

Now, regarding me. For the most part, I enjoy good progress since “Operation Robojaw” over fourteen weeks ago. The Lord graciously allowed me to return to the pulpit on May 15. It went better than I anticipated. I must speak more slowly than before–probably not a bad thing–but the articulation issues don’t seem overly distracting.

I’ve started therapy to improve my speech. Unfortunately the exercises helping me so much seem to have kicked up painful muscle spasms in my upper right jaw. Next Tuesday I travel to Miami for my surgeon to address that complication.

Dr. Marx will also review with me the results of my recent swallow study. Surgery changed something in the swallowing mechanism when I eat and drink. I tend to aspirate both liquids and solids.

Apparently my body can’t generate adequate pressure to get the stuff down the esophagus. Hence, something ends up going in the wrong pipe. Choking can result; I need to exercise extreme care with the process.

My primary care doctor has ordered occupational therapy for my swallow issues. Hopefully that will help. One step away from a Heimlich Maneuver unnerves me a bit.

So there you have it. The Heff House saga continues. We remain immensely grateful for the outpouring of support and the prayers of countless numbers of fellow believers.

I will post additional updates whenever we have significantly more to report.

SWEET REASONABLENESS (3)

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How To Cultivate This Relational Virtue

Few things pour fuel on the fire of my anxiety like relational conflict.

Man with cardboard box on his head and terrified look skethed

I remember cutting the lawn some time ago just how much this fault grips me. My calendar the next day included an “exit interview” with someone who left my church.

Would you understand if I admitted that I hate those deals? They are just about the least favorite part of my job description. Give me a root canal instead, please.

Honestly, the more I mowed, the more obsessed I grew with worry over how that conversation would go. Pitiful–to say the least.

Finally, the Lord gave me an Agent Gibbs head slap on the back of the neck. It dawned on me just how far down the carnal slope I had slipped.

Why don’t you pray instead, knucklehead? Before I knew it, the Lord put 2 Tim. 2:24-25 into my thick head and hard heart. I started praying through those strategic pastoral verses while doing lawn wars Florida style.

When the apostle Paul exhorts the church at Philippi to a sweet reasonableness within the community, he details what it takes to make that virtue a reality. My last post dealt with the first of those ingredients–pursuing our joy in God.

This post zeroes in on the next component–making our requests to God (Phil. 4:6-7).

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Remember, the context here deals with conflict between two godly women in the church. We must put off worry when it comes to relational tension. How? Pray. Once again, Ken Sande helps unpack the meaning:

Paul knew that we cannot just stop being anxious. Worried thoughts have a way of creeping back into our minds, no matter how hard we try to ignore them. Therefore, he instructs us to replace worrying with “prayer and petition, with thanksgiving.” When you are in a dispute, it is natural to dwell on your difficult circumstances or the wrong things that the other person has done or may do to you. The best way to overcome this negative thinking is to replace it with more constructive thoughts, such as praising God for his grace through the gospel, thanking him for the many things he has already done for you in this and other situations, and praying for assistance in dealing with your current challenges (cf. Matt. 6:25-34), (The Peacemaker, 86-87).

That exit interview sailed by faster than I imagined it would. The grass got cut too. And I learned for the upteenth time to just say no to worry by just saying yes to prayer.

Part four coming your way soon!

SWEET REASONABLENESS (2)

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How To Cultivate This Relational Virtue

In my last post, I wrote about the Philippians 4:5 challenge of being well known for a sweet reasonableness–a perfect courtesy, if you will, in dealing with others.

Here in part two is the first of three ways from the context of that passage for developing this otherwise unnatural disposition, especially when we are wronged.

Negatives Positives Computer Keys Showing Plus And Minus Alternatives Analysis And Decisions

 

We don’t often associate the rather familiar verses of Phil. 4:4-8 with negotiating conflict and preserving oneness in our dealings with others. But the context in vv. 2-3 makes this connection very plain.

Paul calls out publically two godly women struggling to get along. He even enlists the aid of a mediator–“true companion”–to help resolve whatever dispute left the ladies at odds.

Let this hit you right between the eyes. That real church-life struggle sets the stage for the exhortations which follow.

Here is step one from these familiar verses for cultivating a sweet reasonableness known to everyone–especially in your church when conflict threatens to disrupt unity.

One, pursue your joy in God (v. 4). Rejoice in the Lord. He doesn’t want us to miss the point, so he repeats himself. Again, I will say rejoice. The apostle likes this theme. He hit them with it once before in Phil. 3:1.

I’m not sure we can hear this often enough. Our contentment ought not depend on how well relationships work out. No matter how hard we try, things can get dicey with others. When it does, the way to sweet reasonableness lies in a Godward orientation.

Ken Sande puts this so well in The Peacemaker:

Salvation through the gospel, the motivation and power to change, sound guidance through God’s Word and Spirit, the resources of the body of Christ, opportunities that come through a sovereign God–all these blessings are available when you are “in the Lord.” But remember, Satan does not want you to think like this; he wants to keep you worried about your conflict, wrapped up in yourself, and looking everywhere except at God. Resist him! Go to the Lord repeatedly in prayer and worship, and delight in his goodness to you. You will be surprised at the freedom and power that such rejoicing brings (85).

This is precisely why our church offers once a year a class on the subject of spiritual disciplines. Joy in God grows as the fruit of our gospel-driven pursuit of God through the means of grace with which He has blessed us.

How’s your joy in God quotient?

There’s little hope of sweet reasonableness known to all without it.

Stay tuned for part three!

SWEET REASONABLENESS

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Something for Which To Be Well Known

So there I am last Monday morning. I show up at the hospital for a 9:00 AM appointment. Time for a “swallow study.” Gotta love the consequences of a jaw do-over.

Reading my hurry-up-and-wait book, I overhear a nearby conversation. A radiology tech apologizes profusely to an elderly couple. “They scheduled him for the wrong procedure. What he needs is a swallow study.”

 

Oops, Young Person Made a Mistake

Forget about the book.  What’s the deal here? Administrative mistake apparently. Let’s just say Mama three seats over was not happy.

Exit the tech. Ten minutes later the same young lady returns calling my name. I follow her into radiology. Thinking to make light of things I ask, “You’ve got me down for a swallow study, right?” She stops dead in her tracks. “Ah, no, an esophagram.” Terrific. Murphy lives.

Now I come to a halt. “My doctor ordered a swallow study.” Apparently he didn’t. It takes us the better part of 90 minutes to get to the bottom of things, but somebody messed up somewhere, no doubt about it.

Now I face a peacemaker’s decision–go off on the poor girl for something she had nothing to do with–or I can choose the Philippians 4:5 way. “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.”

Talk about an interesting Greek word! That term translated “reasonableness” shows up only five times in the New Testament. One resource unpacks it this way:

The word signifies a humble, patient steadfastness, which is able to submit to injustice, disgrace, and maltreatment without hatred and malice, trusting in God in spite of all of it (Fritz Rienecker, A Linguistic Key to the Greek New Testament, 2:214).

Wow. There’s a challenge. A favorite cross reference of mine using the same Greek term is Titus 3:2–show perfect courtesy to all people. No exceptions. The gospel way is the sweet reasonable way . . . WITH EVERYONE.

I want to be known for that. Do you?

Another Personal Update

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More Health News from the House of Heff

Many of our OGC folks and others probably wonder how our busy medical Monday went this week. Here’s the latest:

HealthCare News,Newspaper with white background

First, on my front, Monday proved a total washout. Somehow the wrong test got ordered. Back to the drawing board with my PCP. In other words, still waiting on that swallow study I need.

Now, on Nancy’s front, some significant progress. She underwent an outpatient procedure to remove two liters plus of fluid from her body–ostensibly not that uncommon with ovarian cancer.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT WE FINALLY GOT THE BIOPSY RESULTS! Relatively good news. The enlarged node the surgeon took over six weeks ago tested out as the same ovarian cancer as elsewhere in her body, not some other form of the stupid disease.

Unfortunately the node didn’t meet the size specs necessary upon which to grow a culture. So we still don’t know what chemo drug would best target her cancer, should she choose that route of last resort.

Other than a bit tired and sore from lying in the same position for the procedure, she feels much relief after the siphoning off of all that fluid. A sample of the same now gets sent to the company for testing to determine the best drug for her use. We should hear in two or so weeks.

Yeah, sure.

Forgive my cynicism and thanks for those continued prayers!

T4G

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Why I’m Thrilled to Travel to Louisville this Week!

T4G stands for “Together for the Gospel.” Every other year some pretty heavy hitters in the world of reformed evangelicalism pool their efforts to host this amazing event.

I’ve managed to go twice over the years. God never fails to show up. With the 500th birthday of the Protestant Reformation right around the corner, no way did I want to miss this edition. Check out the quick video clip below to see what I  mean:

 

https://vimeo.com/132860294

 

I feel so fortunate to have pastored a Reformed Baptist congregation for the past eleven years. That we get to stand on the shoulders of the likes of Luther, Calvin, and the rest to proclaim the doctrines of grace to our city, I take as an enormously serious stewardship.

Thankfully my jaw has healed enough to allow the trip. I’m asking the Lord to speak in profound ways to me and the thousands of other pastors who will attend this week. Would you pray to that end as well?

According to the T4G website, they plan to live stream the sessions in case you want to join the event at any point. Sweet!

WORTHLESS RELIGION

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Why Our Tongues Matter So Much To Our Church’s Peace

It never ceases to amaze me. No matter how many times I read through the Bible it happens over and over again. I see something for the very first time. How it escaped me all those previous times I’ll never know.

Snake Tongue

Reading through James recently it hit me unlike ever before. A faith that works–the book’s theme–demonstrates its validity significantly in control of our tongues.

Track this emphasis with me in these verses:

James 1:26

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”

James 3:1-12

I won’t cite the whole passage. You can read it by clicking on the link. But think about it. The writer invests twelve whole verses about our troublesome tongues declaring, “no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (v. 8).

How so?

“With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water” (v. 9-12).

Mike Mason sternly warns:

How cautious we need to be about leveling even the smallest criticism against the loved and elect children of God. Do we really think we can get away with grumbling against the friends of Jesus? If we stopped to realize who it is we were attacking, wouldn’t we bite our tongues (The Gospel According to Job, 241).

But James hasn’t finished this stream of exhortation just yet.

James 4:11-12

“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”

Sorry, there’s even more. He hammers away in James 5:9.

“Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold the Judge is standing at the door.”

Gulp. If that doesn’t sober us nothing will. How very serious does the Lord take this matter of how we speak about our brothers and sisters! We can and must gauge the legitimacy of our claim as Christ followers by it.

Ever since this latest light went on in the book of James, I have sought to exercise all the more care over the words I speak about others inside and outside my church. The last thing I want to hear from the lips of Jesus one day is “Heff, your religion was worthless because your tongue was poison.”

How about you?

A PERSONAL UPDATE

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A dear self-professed atheist friend of mine follows my blog. This both humbles and encourages me. But he did recently complain about the content. “Too much religion. Not enough about you.” Just like my buddy. This post he will like, I think.

Sick Leave

I had to shut down the blog for a couple of weeks recently due to ongoing treatment during my current medical absence. Following jaw surgery six weeks ago my surgeon ordered ten hyperbaric dives to aid in my recovery. They completely wiped me out. Productivity of any kind flew out the window from day one. Fortunately I’ve left those in the rear view mirror. I am actually starting to feel human again.

010

Before I write anything more about me, let me update on the Queen of the Manor, Miss Nancy. Honestly, we don’t have a great deal to report about her cancer battle. She continues diligent treatment with her latest alternative protocol.

She remains optimistic in every way. She has no pain or symptoms. Still no word on the results of her lymph node pathology. We may wait as many as two more weeks for those. Sigh.

Needless to say we pray a lot through this journey. Thanks to so many of you who join us in petitioning the Father in Jesus’ name for her complete healing.

robojaw

Now back to the less interesting part of this post. How do you like my new look? Yep, allow me to introduce you up close and personal to “robojaw.” This most recent scan shows my titanium implant.

Note the span. It runs from the socket by my ear all the way past the midline point of my chin. Just above the “chain” shows my remaining live bone in the mandible. Noticeable by their absence? All my teeth in that quadrant. Needless to say the left side does all the chewing work these days. I’m wondering if my dental hygienist will discount me 25% now at teeth cleaning time.

I still have some swelling. My surgeon, whom I saw recently in Miami, refers to these weeks as “the accommodation” phase of my healing. But everything looks good. I can eat anything I find tolerable. Some speech and swallowing therapy lies ahead as soon as we can arrange it, but things overall improve daily.

office

Thankfully, this week I’ve returned to the office for a good part of each day. Prime time pulpit work will have to wait a bit longer, but writing and administration–no problem. Seems I can manage the occasional appointment as well. Sure beats breathing 100% O2 at a simulated 45 feet below sea level in a claustrophobic chamber.

Our elders huddle up in a couple of weeks. At that meeting I expect we will discuss my progress and what steps might lie ahead for a more complete pastoral reentry. In the meantime, I praise God for His kindness in sustaining me through this marathon journey. Go ahead and say it “L.” “There you go again with that religious talk.”

I just can’t help myself.

 

GREAT CHURCH FIGHTS

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Review of a Peacemaking Resource for Preserving Church Unity

Leslie B. Flynn’s book, Great Church Fights: What the Bible Says about Controversy and How to Resolve It, has been on the bookshelf for some time now–Victor Books, 1976, 118 pages.

conflictelk

A short read, profitable for group study as well as individual reflection, its aim gets stated early on:

All conflict in ecclesiastical life is not healthy per se. Disagreements, with their accompanying misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and competitiveness do carry the potential of destructive bitterness, but if they are properly handled through peaceable wisdom from above, they can be a constructive force for uniting the body of Christ (James 3:13-18).

The chapters following will deal with significant conflicts in the New Testament, generally in the order in which they appear in the sacred record. Consideration of the principles should help our 20th-century churches. Out of friction can arise new love and strength in the family of God (11).

Each chapter which follows deals with in turn:

  • The Acts 6 growing church dilemma where the Grecian widows went unfed.
  • The Acts 15 Jerusalem council regarding salvation by grace.
  • The Acts 15 sharp disagreement between Paul and Barnabas over John Mark.
  • The Romans 14 instruction about disagreement over matters of conscience.
  • The 1 Corinthians 1 rebuke concerning the building of factions around personalities.
  • The 1 Corinthians 5 (other texts as well) teaching about church discipline.
  • The Galatians 2 clash between Paul and Peter about Jew/Gentile relationships.
  • The Matthew 5:23-24 call to be our brother’s keeper for peace even if it interrupts corporate worship.
  • The Philippians 4 mediation between two at odds women in the church.
  • The 3 John 9-10 counsel for dealing with leaders who think far too much of themselves.

The book rightly closes on a positive note to act as more than conquerors when conflict erupts. The way to win those inevitable church fights is to give in–to the Holy Spirit, and watch Him restore unity and power to the Church (118).

Flynn writes in a most readable style. The book contains considerable biblical references as well some illustrative content which made me laugh and wince at the same time.

Given the brevity of the book, the chapters don’t go all that deep in their analysis of such important content. Why the author chose to ignore entirely Old Testament accounts of conflict–Abram and Lot (Gen. 13) or Abigail and David (1 Sam. 25)–I suppose will have to remain a secret.

Still, Flynn has given a gift to Jesus’s church. It’s worth adding to your church library or personal bookshelf. I got my used but in perfectly good shape copy for just $4 plus shipping off Amazon.

Question: What text of Scripture has helped you in the area of conflict resolution? You can leave your comment here.