I preached on John 6:35 today. I am the bread of life. We had communion following the preaching of the Word and rightly so, particularly on this occasion.

This morning in my sacred romance with Jesus I read this on why the cross by A. W. Pink regarding Christ’s Penal Work:

As to why this means and method of death was selected by God out of all others possible–poisoning, stoning, beheading, etc.–Genesis 3 supplies the answer: “As the fatal sin which diffused the curse of the human race was connected with the forbidden ‘tree,’ God wisely ordered that the last Adam should expiate sin by being suspended on a tree; and He appointed in the Law (Deu 21:22-23) such a symbol of the curse as reminded all men of the origin of the Divine curse on the world. He would not have the curse removed in any other way.” Among the Romans, death by crucifixion was the the deepest possible humiliation. It was the most degrading of punishments, inflicted only on slaves and the lowest of the people. If freemen were at any time subjected to crucifixion for great crimes, such as robbery, high treason, or sedition, the sentence could not be executed until they were put into the catalogue of slaves, and that by the utmost humiliation. Their liberty was taken from them by servile stripes and scourging as it was done to Christ. Thus, the curse of God’s Law was executed upon the Head and Substitute of His people. To “preach Christ crucified” (1 Co 1:23) is to proclaim and expound His being “made a curse for us.”

I wanted to read this before the Table today, but ran out of time. I never made the “tree” connection before. It made me sing When I Survey the Wondrous Cross with a deeper layer of insight, devotion, and wonder than ever before.

Someone raised this question recently in preparation for our upcoming congregational meeting. Why don’t we regularly applaud whoever sings the offertory? We do occasionally but it is rare when it happens.

D. A. Carson has some helpful insight on the question on page 88 of his book noted below.

Applause used to be unknown. Then it came to be deployed after special music. Now it is sometimes heard punctuating sermons. This is, I think, a regressive step. True, some might consider this to be a kind of cultural equivalent to a voiced “Amen!” I take the point, and would not want to introduce new legalism by banning applause outright. But the fundamental difference between “Amen!” and applause must be noted: the “Amen!” is directed to God, even if it serves to encourage the person who is ministering, while applause in our culture signals approval of the performer. God is left out, and the “performer” may the more easily be seduced into pride. This is one of several ways by which the rules of the entertainment world have subtly slipped into corporate worship and are in danger o destroying it from within.

That about sums it up.

A Call to Spiritual Reformation is a worthwhile read.

Four years ago today marked a milestone as noted in my journal from 8.22.05.

Home. They let me go last night. It’s over. Treatment is finished. TBTG. They took the 5FU IV out at 8:45 after 128 consecutive hours. No wonder I feel like c _ _ p. Sores on the inside and outside of my mouth. Red inflamed skin in the cheeks and neck area. Mucous galore. Nausea. Some vomiting. I can hardly talk. I told Nancy yesterday AM, “It stinks being me today.” But by God’s grace we got through. Hopefully from here on in things can only get better. I wonder how long it will take to recover.

Fortunately I didn’t really know, or I might have despaired.

So what we need, then, is a prayer life that thanks God for the people of God, and then tells the people of God what we thank God for. D. A. Carson

After I read that from the man’s book, A Call to Spiritual Reformation, I sent an email to the one deacon in our Seven Day Prayer List at OGC that falls in the Friday section and did just that.

PEOPLE OF GOD, LOVE ONE ANOTHER BY PRAYING FOR ONE ANOTHER. GIVE THANKS FOR ONE ANOTHER AND TELL ONE ANOTHER WHY YOU GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR ONE ANOTHER.

Eye has not seen and hear has not heard what kind of church we will be if we take this call to pray through the flock faithfully EVERY WEEK! As the Nike people say, JUST DO IT!

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.

C. S. Lewis

Four years ago today I endured a four day, 24/7 continuous infusion of a chemotherapy drug called 5FU. You can read about this nasty little devil here.

This from 8.19 through 8.21.05 in my journal from that year.

It was a long day yesterday. A lot of lying around. I got up for one walk. Came back and threw up. Vomited a total of three times yesterday. The 5FU is definitely getting to me. So grateful I am not doing radiation. It’s a week today since they burned my tongue. it’s feeling somewhat better but is still sore. Yawning is quite painful and mucous is still a problem, but not as bad. The doc thought I looked ten times better on this round. He was very upbeat.

I am weary of this journey. So much mucous. More vomiting and nausea. These last four days seem like an eternity. Oh to keep the perspective that we are trying to save my life. It’s a brutal path. I was weak and tired much of the day yesterday. I slept a lot. Man, it has been a long haul. Lord give me mercy to persevere. Seems like my secretions have gotten worse, thanks to the extended chemo. Taste is all weird again. I can’t wait to get to the other side.

The last day. They hung the final bag of 5Fu last night. I should be finished and free to go home some time tonight. What a relief. It has been miserable. Mucous, mouth pain, nausea, vomiting, sore face. This stuff is so toxic. I just pray it is doing its job and killing any cancer left in my body. I long for relief. Jesus have mercy.

Often times I felt so sick I could only summon one prayer.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

It was enough.

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of James Gjertsen’s homegoing. We miss you, son. The hard providence you brought into your parent’s lives and all those who love them brought great joy and deep reflection as well.

For a sweet, thoughtful, substantive recollection of all things James, click through to the House of Gjertsen site here.

I said it before. I’ll say it again. I love shepherding people of such faith and devotion. They make me want to be a better pastor.

If you aren’t reading Brett & Nicole Bradley’s blog, I commend it to you.

I love blogs by my people because they give me a window into their hearts so I can know better how to shepherd them. Facebook is doing that for me to, to a certain extent. I keep learning, ever so slowly, even pushing 57 years of age.

Check out today’s raw, tender, and insightful stuff from the Bretticus and his bride here.

I love pastoring folks with such sincere, substantive faith.

Desiring God’s blog has a post by John Piper comparing thoughts from C. S. Lewis and Jonathan Edwards on the subject of humility. It’s worth checking out here.

This smidgen of a quote from Lewis regarding the human propensity to self-admiration might whet your appetite to click through:

It is like fighting the hydra… There seems to be no end to it. Depth under depths of self-love and self-admiration.

This from 8.18.05.

Back in the hospital again. Another twist. My medical oncologist showed up at treatment with ideas for altering the plan. He was wrestling with adding the 5FU continuous fusion treatment (4 days, 24/7) following the cisplatin. He wants to finish strong. The only way to do it AND keep me on TPN (liquid nutrition) was to put me in so I can run simultaneous IVs. The chemo is not compatible with the TPN so we can’t piggy back off the port – unfortunately. Other than feeling weak last night I didn’t have any other immediate side effects from the cisplatin. Thanks be to God.

Had my final radiation treatment yesterday. Number 38! Hallelujah that is over. What a long haul. We brought gifts to the staff – some food, Piper books (Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die). I think they felt touched. Got my boldness quotient up to distribute the books. Gave my radiation oncologist a copy of my Psalm 23 message, “Tsunamis, Cancer, & the Shepherd’s Extraordinary Care.” Hopefully he will listen to it and God will convict and soften his heart.

It was not always easy, but God gave grace to seek to redeem the suffering by enabling us to share the gospel with caregivers and fellow-patients along the way. Blessed be His name.