On Asking Why

November 22, 2015 By revheff in Trials Tags: gospel, suffering, trials, why, witness Leave a comment

For some reason I don’t usually. Ask the Lord why He lets me suffer like I am right now with my jaw, that is. Well, there was that time in 2005. I had finished cancer treatment with all its nausea and vomiting. My expectation that those symptoms would cease soon after the last chemo blast proved to be wishful thinking. One particularly violent episode turned into a flood of tears and a very loud “Why, Lord?” in my family room.

But for the most part, I’m not inclined to go there. Perhaps one reason lies in what I know the Bible teaches about God’s purposes in the trials He ordains for us. There’s a world of instruction in various texts to that end. For example, that we might grow in steadfastness which would have its perfect result—complete, lacking in nothing (Jas. 1:2-4). Or that we would be able to comfort others with the same comfort whereby we have been comforted by Jesus (2 Cor. 1:3-5). And that we get to identify with the Master in His sufferings because the servant is certainly no greater than He is (1 Pet. 2:21). I could go on.

Another reason for trials in our lives dawned on me recently with comforting intensity. In the middle of HBO2 dive #10, one of the nurse/techs engaged me about what kind if church I pastor. The Lord opened a door for the gospel so big, even I could drive a summary presentation of the good news through it! For once I had the presence of mind to make the most of the opportunity. I laid the truth in love on the man. It almost made my sentencing to hyperbaric oxygen prison palatable. Almost.

And then I thought of Paul’s attitude in Phil. 1:12-13. Writing from prison, here is how he framed his difficult circumstances:

I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ.

Now I can’t say that it has become known throughout the whole of Florida Hospital that my treatment is for Christ, but to some extent it is becoming known in the deep wound unit that this is the case. Frankly, that took a good bit of the pain out of this preacher’s jaw that day. Have you considered the possibility that, among other reasons, one why for your trial involves God’s plan for your beautiful feet to bring the gospel of peace to someone in need?

Jaw Journey Update

November 16, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: health, infection, jaw, wound care Leave a comment

I gave this report in our church’s e-news this past week:

Thanks a ton for all your prayers as I continue to travel the healing road with the wound/infection in my jaw. I am now essentially under the care of infectious disease doctors for my osteomyelitis. They have put in play every strategy known to help my particular problem. It’s a two-fold approach. First, I have an at-home, every six hour, 24/7 antibiotic infusion—for four to six weeks. The hardest thing about that is the disruption of my sleep patterns. Pastor needs his sleep!

Second, the infamous hyperbaric oxygen dives. The toughest thing there is the time involved and somewhat the discomfort. I arrive at the hospital every morning, Monday through Friday, at 6:30 AM. They load the dive chamber somewhere around 7:30. It takes about fifteen minutes to pressurize the cabin to the equivalent of 45 feet below sea level. My sinuses tend to object strenuously on the way down. Think ice pick thrusts above the eye and you will get the idea. Once at depth, they install a clear plastic hood over my head. I breathe 100% O₂for 30 minutes, 5 minute break, another 30 of breathing, take five once more, a final half-hour of oxygen, and then 10 or 15 minutes or so back to the “surface.” I’m home in Altamonte usually by 10 AM. Fun, huh?

Needless to say, this treatment regimen has cut in significantly to my morning study time. As a result I feel I need to suspend the Genesis series until finished with this stewardship. I’m planning something less strenuous for Advent from the gospels. That will give me some breathing room as I keep on the healing path. My apologies for the disappointment this causes anybody. I just can’t bring myself to cheat study time on arguably the most challenging book of the Bible I have ever preached.

Most of my work hours for now will occur in the afternoon, evenings, and weekends, as energy allows. I appreciate the patience and grace I’ve received as I try to navigate the schedule with wisdom and grace.

The Expulsive Power of a New Affection

November 15, 2015 By revheff in Spiritual Life Tags: desires, holiness, sanctification, sin, spiritual growth Leave a comment

As promised, here is a link to the Thomas Chalmers’ article I referenced in this morning’s message from Genesis 14. It’s a challenging read, but definitely worth the effort and more than one pass.

Fight the good fight!

Jaw Wars

October 21, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: grace, health update, infection, jaw, pain, strength Leave a comment

The Star Wars saga has nothing on me. I’ve got more episodes in my journey than the popular movie series will ever produce.

This just in. My oral surgeon today said he’s done all he can do surgically. The problem with my escalating pain must be medical. What to do? Two things. One, hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I report for the first of these tomorrow morning, Lord willing, at Florida Hospital. Can’t wait to climb into one of those rigs (see image above).

Two, infectious disease consult. The surgeon removed all the dead bone debris he could find. My pain can no longer stem from that cause. The only thing he can surmise on that score is osteomyelitis–chronic infection of the bone. My oral surgeon referred me back to my medical oncologist/hematologist for this consult, especially because I had multiple infections of the blood during my chemo treatments back in 2005. I am still waiting to hear back from his office about an appointment. My understanding at this point is that treatment protocol for this involves inserting a central line for six weeks of IV antibiotics. Something to look forward to. But I am trying not to get ahead of myself.

Pain remains high. Still pushing the drugs to cope. Lots of rest required. The saga goes on.

I’ve hauled out a familiar friend from ’05, the promise of God in 2 Cor. 12:9, to sustain me along the way.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Oswald Chambers says this about one of my all time favorite verses of the Bible:

God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength. Are you asking God to give you life and liberty and joy? He cannot, unless you will accept the strain. Immediately you face the strain, you will get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the step, and God will give you to eat of the tree of life and you will get nourishment. If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for to-morrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute. The temptation is to face difficulties from a common-sense standpoint. The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God.

Not sure about the hilarious part, but definitely striving for strength in the strain of each minute. Appreciate all the prayers of the faithful on FB.

More importantly, regarding Nancy, there is not much to report. She continues to work her therapy program therapy. Thank you for your faithful prayers on her behalf as well.

Jaw Joy

September 23, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: gospel, grace, jaw, surgery Leave a comment

I won’t make this a long post. But post I must.

Jaw pain on my right side has plagued me since a root canal tooth failed in May. This morning I underwent oral surgery to remove dead bone on the right side of my jaw. The procedure exceeded my expectations. My surgeon cleaned out a bunch of junk. He did a superior job. That I can work on a blog post the same day testifies to that effect.

I got to thinking about one’s jaw. I admit it. I take mine, both sides, for granted. I shouldn’t. My right side got hammered ten years ago with radiation treatment for head and neck cancer. Gotta love cancer treatment, conventional style. While cancer cells get killed, so also do healthy cells. Hey, I’m not complaining. I’m still preaching ten years later. My complications have been minimal. Couldn’t be more grateful.

Still, there is this jaw thing. Preacher’s tend to make connections from the experiential to the spiritual. Here’s mine, with the help of Puritan Matthew Henry, from Hosea 11:1-7.

He eased them of the burdens they had been long groaning under: I was to them as those that take off the yoke on their jaws, alluding to the care of the good husbandman, who is merciful to his beast, and will not tire him with hard and constant labour. Probably, in those times, the yoke on the neck of the oxen was fastened with some bridle, or headstall, over the jaws, which muzzled the mouth of the ox. Israel in Egypt were thus restrained from the enjoyments of their comforts and constrained to hard labour; but God eased them, removed their shoulder from the burden, Ps. 81:6. Note, Liberty is a great mercy, especially out of bondage (emphasis mine).

Do you see that phrase, I was to them as those that take off the yoke on their jaws? At this point in my spiritual journey, no other verse may matter more to me in the strengthening of my faith to finish strong. Do I long for the pain in my jaw to abate? Absolutely.

Would I trade that for the confidence that Jesus, by His gracious death on the cross and victorious resurrection from the dead, has TAKEN OFF THE JAW OF WORKS and given this unworthy ox the mercy of laboring under gospel grace?

Not in a million years.

Thank you, my great Savior, for using my frail jaw for reminding me once again of your great grace.

This jaw, what’s left of it, praises You.

A Birthday Prayer

September 19, 2015 By revheff in prayer Tags: birthday, prayer, Psalms Leave a comment

Among the gifts I enjoy as a now 63 year old man is friendship with an extraordinary pastor from Jacksonville. He specializes in praying for folks using the content of the Psalms. For my birthday last week he sent me this adaptation from Psalm 16.

Preserve Curt for another year, O God. On this birthday remind Curt of your faithful preserving his days this past year and cause him to take refuge in your careful shepherding in the year to come. You are indeed his Lord and he has no good apart from you. You, O LORD are his chosen portion and his cup; you hold his every moment and every day. Convince Curt that the lines of his life have fallen for him in pleasant places, indeed, he has been given a beautiful inheritance, in Christ. Thank you, Lord, for blessing and giving Curt counsel this past year. Even in the darkness of night you have been faithful to instruct him and comfort him. Grant your grace this coming year, O Lord, that he might set you often before his face and cause your right hand to so sustain him that he will surely not be shaken. Gladden his heart. Cause his whole being to rejoice as his flesh dwells secure. Make known to him your path of life this coming year for in your presence there is fullness of joy and at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. I ask, Lord, show Curt your paths, your fullness of joy and your pleasures this year ahead. And cause him to rest in Christ as one in whom the Father takes great delight. Amen & Amen.

Few gifts mean more than being prayed for. Thanks, pastor. You make me want to be a better pastor.

May we all follow his example in praying for others using the Psalms as an inspired template.

Ten Years Cancer Free & Still Learning

August 19, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: cancer, health, learning, lessons Leave a comment

This month marks a decade since I finished treatment for head and neck cancer. By God’s grace I remain cancer free. I have remarked to others more times than I can recount a single thought: “Cancer is a terribly effective tutor.” Here are several lessons I learned through the healing journey and continue to learn as the Lord kindly gives me length of days.

One, the actual moment of a believer’s death is a terribly significant matter in the heart of God (Psalm 116:15).
Two, illness is a form of suffering which God uses to train us in holiness (Psalm 119:71).
Three, God’s grace is sufficient to sustain even when healing is delayed or doesn’t come at all (2 Cor. 12:9).
Four, one’s capacity to comfort others in their affliction increases significantly to the degree one has experienced comfort from God in something similar (2 Cor. 1:3-5).
Five, dying is gain for the believer, but remaining alive to serve others is better for them in God’s providence (Phil. 1:21-26).
Six, God sees the tears and hears the prayers of His people when they cry out to Him (2 Kings 20:5).
Seven, joy doesn’t depend on circumstances but rather on the filling of the Spirit which focuses on giving thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:16-18).
Eight, true worth comes from who we are in Christ, not what we can or cannot do for Him (2 Cor. 5:17).
Nine, prosperity and adversity both come from God and require different responses in faith (Ecc. 7:14).
And, ten, life is a vapor, faster than a weaver’s shuttle, requiring one to live every moment’s anticipation of the future governed by a careful “if the Lord wills” (James 4:13-15; Job 7:6).

These lessons and more I have learned and continue to learn as I live one more day cancer free to the praise of His glorious grace.

A Cancer Reality Check

August 15, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: cancer, health, update 6 Comments

Yesterday Nancy and I spent the morning at the hospital. She was scheduled to have her chemo ports removed.

Early on in what normally is a fairly routine, simple procedure, the doctor discovered that the catheter of the port placed in her abdomen had gotten dislodged somehow. That meant he had to scramble to put some new equipment together so he could go laproscopic for its retrieval. That meant general vs. local anesthetic as well. No big deal except . . .

The doctor asked to see me following the procedure. While scoping for the catheter, he took a quick look around the region. He discovered visible signs of cancer on her diaphragm and at least one other place. He didn’t look everywhere, so we don’t know as of yet how pervasive a threat exists. That was not the purpose of the procedure and he was already overtime for getting to his other cases. He took pictures and even showed them to me. So apparently my previous post regarding her progress was premature.

But I was puzzled. We had acted positively of late based upon the last two blood tests checking her CA-125 levels, which proved to be well in range. I asked him about that. He used the word “meaningless” to describe that test’s significance at this point in the recurrence process. Imagine my shock. Neither Nancy or I ever got that memo. She had started to back off on aspects of her natural protocol thinking she was out of the woods. She is not. He took biopsies in several places to confirm the diagnosis, but I could read it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He has no doubt. Cancer has grown from microscopic to visible in her body in the last eight months.

Where does that leave us? Nancy has resumed an all-in campaign for morning, noon, and night therapy of the natural kind to battle her cancer. I’m afraid that means she will not be returning anytime soon to a more mainstream pastor’s wife life or to her part-time work out of the house with her supplement customers. Her full-time job for now remains to get well.

We are investigating additional natural methods which have come to our attention. As always, we covet your prayers for healing and the grace to fight the good fight with the joy of the Lord as our strength.

Take That Ovarian Cancer

August 1, 2015 By revheff in Personal Reflection Tags: cancer, health, update 2 Comments

It gives me great pleasure to rep0rt that Nancy’s latest blood test (she gets them quarterly now), came back with a CA-125 reading of 19. Above 35 is considered out of range. She remains well within acceptable results to give us confidence that healing from this stupid disease continues. She sees the doctor this week for his take on things. Thanks to all who continue to pray for us as we walk this path of faith. God is good. All the time.

Why Family Night Matters To Me

June 11, 2015 By revheff in Body of Christ Tags: church, love, membership Leave a comment

This Sunday evening, June 14, at 5 PM, OGC will have its second Family Night Member’s Meeting. I wouldn’t dream of missing it. And not just because I’m one of the shepherds of the flock. I’m pretty certain I would make this a priority, if I were a “mere” regular sheep of the fold.

Why? Because I made promises before God and His church about being in covenant community with the rest of the membership at OGC. And that means commitments of love spelled out in a place like 1 Corinthians 13.

I love how Jonathan Leeman, in his book The Surprising Offense of God’s Love, grabs back the pretty lyrics of that passage from weddings (not that it doesn’t fit there, of course) and reads it to the local church:

Do you want to exercise, practice, embody, and define the glorious love of heaven, he asks us? Then do it in a local church, a church where factions are pitted against one another (1 Cor. 1:12-13), where people have big heads (4:8), where members are sleeping with their fathers’ wives (5:2), where members are suing and defrauding one another (6:1-8), where members are getting drunk on the communion wine and not leaving enough for others (11:21-22), where spiritual gift one-upmanship is rife (chaps. 12 and 14), where the meetings are threatened by disorder (14:40), and where some are saying there is no resurrection from the dead (15:12). Bind and submit yourself and your gifts to these kinds of people. Love them with patience and kindness, without envy or boasting, without arrogance or rudeness, not insisting on our own way, not irritably or resentfully, not rejoicing at wrongdoing but rejoicing at the truth.

People often complain about the sinners they find in the local church, and with good reason. It’s filled with sinners, which is why Paul calls Christians to love one another by bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. If you won’t love such backstabbers and defrauders like this, don’t talk about your spiritual gifts, your vast biblical knowledge, or all the things you do for the poor. You’re just a noisy gong. Don’t talk about your love for all Christians everywhere; you are just a clanging cymbal. But if you do practice loving a specific, concrete people, all of whose names you don’t get to choose, then you will participate in defining love for the world, the love which will characterize the church on the last day perfectly because it images the self-sacrificing and merciful love of Christ perfectly.”

Family Night gives us one of the many ways to grow in love for those with whom He has called us into covenant commitments of membership. Here we learn to grow in that which is greatest and put the glorious gospel of the Lord Jesus on display.